Rantings From The Booth

Honestly, none.

However...

After tonight's Game Show Awards, I am somewhat tempted to commit theft. There was a category for Best Game Show and the nominees were 'Deal or No Deal' (of course), 'The Price is Right,' 'Jeopardy,' 'Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?' and 'Wheel of Fortune.'

'Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader' won.

I could not believe this either. A show with those annoying children smiling for the camera while they show just how unintelligent some of this country's citizens are. Citizens that are probably cherry picked for their stupidity, mind you. While I don't mind when morons are brought down a peg, I don't enjoy seeing cutesy children doing so.

Of course, I do believe our show was robbed. Had it lost to more respectable competition such as 'Jeopardy' I wouldn't have minded. I enjoy that program though sometimes I find the questions to be of little challenge to someone of superior intellect such as myself. 'The Price is Right' has been on for over thirty-five years. Had we lost to that show, I wouldn't have minded either. It's been a staple of the game show community for decades. Yes, the premise is simplistic enough but it must do something right to continue to survive. My sentiments would be similar for losing to 'Wheel of Fortune' as well. Yes, it's simplistic but it's another staple of the game show community.

I have no idea how '5th Grader' won. It shouldn't have. If it were up to me, I'd rectify the situation by giving the award to a much more worthy show.

No, I wouldn't really steal the trophy from Jeff Foxworthy. But I was nearly tempted to do so once his show was revealed to be the winner.

Muse: The Banker
Fandom: Deal or No Deal (USA)/RPF
Word Count: 293

ooc: No offense is meant to muses from any of the shows mentioned in this rant. Remember the Banker is a bitter, egotistical individual. No show on NBC's schedule is safe, not even the one my other muse is on. The Banker's views don't match mine.

Also, there will be some canon puncturing as well, given the Banker would be looking at NBC's schedule as it really exists. Just wanted to preface this entry with proper disclaimers just in case. ^^;

I don't understand why NBC is banishing 'Deal or No Deal' to the limbo known as 'hiatus' right after the holidays. Oh sure, the 'geniuses' claim it all had to do with ratings.

Right. As if any show on Friday nights stands a chance of getting decent ratings. AND, someone decided to give my show the time slot opposite 'Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?' Apparently no one considered...oh I don't know - that perhaps scheduling a game show opposite a game show might split the viewers between the two programs? (Way to go, geniuses.)

Also, what the hell ever happened to our second weekly time slot? The show was SUPPOSED TO air on Wednesday night as well. Apparently someone thought a show with a talking car was more worthy of that slot. Yes NBC, you may be getting advertising dollars prominently featuring a car manufactured by Ford NOW. But those advertising dollars will quickly disappear if Ford's bail out falls through - mark my words.

(All right, I'll confess I do know the original Wednesday time slot is now occupied by that show 'Life' not 'Knight Rider' but a show with a talking car is much easier to make fun of.)

The show used to air on Mondays right before 'Heroes' but apparently some spy spoof show called 'Chuck' ended up with that slot. Last I checked, 'Deal or No Deal's' ratings were higher than that show, by the way. Perhaps NBC might have gotten some more advertising dollars if that show actually took place at Best Buy, but then given the current retail market, maybe not.

Although...the ratings slide may be due to one other factor. Someone (actually TWO SOMEONES) finally won the million dollars this season. The one thing that never happened finally did. And now perhaps the viewing public feels they've now seen everything the show could offer.

I say - not yet. Neither of the winners took home the top prize on a standard board. Both of them had multiple million dollar case games. Now should someone ever do that then yes, you the viewer have in fact seen it all.

It was bound to happen eventually with all those 'Million Dollar Missions' and whatnot. They (the NBC geniuses) were so desperate to have some win the top prize, they stacked the deck in the contestants' favor.

Hmph.

Muse: The Banker
Fandom: Deal or No Deal (USA)/RPF
Word Count (excluding ooc notes): 394

Oh it's far too easy for me.

Every contestant who fills out an application for the show tells a little bit about him or herself. And these contestant hopefuls tend to make a foolish choice of mentioning any sort of phobia they have.

I'm not sure why. Perhaps they think such their phobias are unique enough to capture the attention of the contestant coordinators.

In any event, the contestant hopefuls seem to forget one tiny little thing - their applications are also read by me.

I tend to have a bit of fun with this information. One contestant mentioned she had a fear of snakes. So one of the models that works for me came out with a briefcase with a live snake in it. It amazed me how far she jumped back after it was opened.

Then there was that redneck with the fear of spiders. I didn't even have a live spider this time. Just a plush on in clear box that I lowered on a table in front of the contestant. She screamed loudly and refused to go anywhere near the table until I took the box away.

I realize snakes and spiders are common phobias. But there was one contestant a couple of years ago who had a rather unique one - a fear of Big Bird.

I do not know how anyone can be afraid of a children's show Muppet, but he was. And guess who came to cheer him on? That's right. Big Bird himself. The look on that contestant's face ws priceless indeed.

There are other instances where I have used contestants' fears against them of course. But those are three of my favorite moments.

Muse: The Banker
Fandom: Deal or No Deal (USA)/RPF
Word Count: 282

Unless you've been living a cave, then you no doubt have heard of the recent troubles with the stock market. There have been proposals by our government to rescue some of these troubled firms such as AIG.

President Bush is to address the nation this evening at 9PM to speak about his plan to assist the economy.

I'll bet there were quite a few of you out there that just whined "But the new fall shows just started! He's cutting into a new episode of [insert show title here]."

If you believe an episode of 'Criminal Minds' on CBS or 'Til Death' on FOX is more important than our economy then you need to get your priorities straight right now. Those shows can wait to air. As well as...let's see, ABC has a David Blaine special on and NBC has those hacks performing on 'America's Got Talent.' Again, nothing that should take priority over a financial CRISIS.

I do somewhat share the sentiment that the President's proposal is a bit of a joke though. A $700 billion dollar bailout? $700 BILLION?! That is insanity, if you ask me. There is no way that bill will be passed.

Especially if some of those firms are guilty of fraud. Did you hear- the FBI may invest AIG, Fanny Mae and Freddie Mac.

All this makes my head hurt. And all of these reports of fraud and bailouts passing or not passing are making the market rise and fall drastically by the day.

Something needs to be done, yes. But let's get our heads out of the clouds (or out of our asses) and propose something within the realm of reality.

And soon, before Wall Street implodes.

Muse: The Banker
Fandom: Deal or No Deal (USA)/RPF
Word Count: 284

That's something I think is growing on me as I get older: happy endings." -- Alice Munro (Bringing Life to Life)

Apparently, the thought of 'happy endings' is also something network executives think about as well. I'm not sure what else to call the recent rash of Million Dollar Missions and other gimmicks we've had. Those gimmicks were merely created in order to have someone go home with the show's top prize.

(Of course, I would not consider that event a 'happy ending' but the 'geniuses' at NBC would.)

So far, every single attempt has failed thanks to me. Even those contestants fortunate enough to pick a million dollar case were persuaded to take an offer of a lesser value.

I'm quite impressed with my record of games without a single million dollar winner. (Nearly 250 games in the show's three seasons, in case you were wondering.)

Alas, sadly at SOME POINT during season four, my streak ends. I am not allowed to state when of course. (I have to obey the confidentiality clauses of my contract.) Also, that is not an event I would like to talk about much. (I'll merely mention it when it happens and move on.)

I suppose if I look on the bright side, some foolish contestant did leave with our show's lowest prize of one penny.

Thank you Heather McKee. You brought about what I consider to be a happy ending.

Muse: The Banker
Fandom: Deal or No Deal (USA)/RPF
Word Count (excluding prompt text): 216

I firmly believe that the only way to achieve anything in this world is to work hard. While life may on occasion provide a bit of luck, truly, the only way to get ahead is to work.

Do not whine about how hard life is all the time! Get out there and DO something about whatever situation you've found yourself in.

I worked hard and now can enjoy the finer pleasures of life. (I must say, it's wonderful to be wealthy, having the chance to stay in a luxurious hotel in Paris, France.)

No one gave me anything to achieve this lifestyle. I did it all on MY OWN. Being successful in life is possible after all.

*ponders for a moment*

Let's see...what else do I believe in...

Well, I do believe in honesty. In fact I never 'sugar coat' how I feel about someone. If I don't like them, I let them know EXACTLY how I feel. Some feel this is a bit harsh of me but, as you may imagine, I really do not care what people think of me.

And while I'm on that subject? Allow to me to honestly say that the thought of giving away a million dollars next season is quite unpleasant. But alas, it's true...

However, I will not think about that at the moment. I will instead return to enjoying the finer pleasures of where I'm staying.

That reminds me - there's a lovely gourmet restaurant nearby that I've been meaning to visit.

Au Revoir!

Muse: The Banker
Fandom: Deal or No Deal (USA)/RPF
Word Count: 253

Our season finale featured a contestant named Brandy Brown who had her own 'unique' hairstyle that she dubbed "the rockin' rullet."

She claimed it was her tribute to two styles of 1980's - the rock and roll bangs in the front and the mullet in the back. I wish I could make this up, but it is the honest truth. In fact, allow me to provide photographic evidence of this (quite frankly bizarre) hairstyle.

( The Rockin' Rullet )

I also assure you, this is an actual image. It has not been 'Photoshopped' in any way to alter her real hairstyle.

You know, during the three seasons of the show, we have had models in pink afro wigs, turkeys running about on the stage, Stormtroopers holding the briefcases, sound proof booths, dunk tanks...

(That list could go on much, much longer but I would drift horribly off topic.)

The point is, after all of the insanity we've had on the show, I thought I had seen everything.

I guess not.


Anyway...

I sincerely hope Ms. Brown will take part of that $28,000 she won (her in-game implosion amused me greatly, by the way) and get her hair styled by someone with proper training.

She probably won't though.

Muse: The Banker
Fandom: Deal or No Deal (USA)/RPF
Word Count: 201

ooc: Yeah...um...I fell behind with this muse. *head desks*

Respect is something that must be earned. For the most part, a contestant will earn my respect for taking chances during their games.

There was one contestant that earned my respect even before we began to play, however. (Yes, there is, as the saying goes, a first time for everything.)

Back in April, Army Captain Joe Kobes was a contestant on our show. He was stationed in Iraq, fighting in the current war. Regardless of what you think of the war itself, you do have to respect and admire that sort of bravery. He served his country, putting his life on the life every single day. I cannot say that myself.

Captain Kobes actually even received a message from our current president, thanking him for his service to our country. How often can anyone say they received a personal message from the PRESIDENT?! Not many people can.

In case you were wondering, Captain Kobes left the game with $78,000. As I stated on my NBC blog, while I'm never happy to see a contestant leave with my money, I can honestly say there isn't a more deserving player than Captain Joe Kobes.

I meant it then, and I still mean it now. He certainly is a man that earned my respect.

Muse: The Banker
Fandom: Deal or No Deal (USA)/RPF
Word Count (excluding quoted text and ooc note): 185

I see I received a nomination for Snarkmaster of the Year. Some of you obviously are intelligent enough readers to recognize the bitter wit of my entries.

I thank you for that.

(And I should win that award, mind you.)

I also see I received an honorable mention for Best Written Canon Muse. Pardon the redundancy, but it is an honor to be mentioned (I suppose) in such a group of veteran writers.



ooc: Yeah, don't mind him...

Truly, I am humbled by the nomination and honorable mention! I do realize I have been neglecting this muse a bit of late. So, I am a bit stunned that he's been remembered. Congratulations to all the nominees and best of luck to you all!

Thank you so much! ^^;

Dear E*Trade,

Forgive me if my letter to you seems a bit unkind, but I feel there is no other way to say this. You need a new creative team for your advertising department. Fire everyone you currently employ and start over.

My suggestion may seem a bit extreme, but consider it 'tough love' from someone who has successfully worked for the financial sector for many years. (And still does in a roundabout way.)

Your current advertisements leave a lot to be desired in promoting the image of your company.

I understand you are attempting to show the ease in which someone can open an account and trade in multiple global markets. However, the talking baby advertisements could give some commercial viewers the idea that a child can open an account in his or her name at any age. This is not so. Many states require a child to be at least eighteen years old (though not all). Prior to their eighteenth birthday, accounts must be set up with a custodian for their benefit.

Of course, you SHOULD know all that.

Also, get rid of that foolish man who brags about buying a stock at midnight his time on the Hong Kong stock exchange.

This commercial annoys the daylights out of me.

Every time I see that commercial on my screen, I change the channel. Does this man have no concept of TIME ZONES? If it's midnight in New Jersey, it's twelve hours later there and their market is already open. Also, I loathe his little 'geography lesson' at the end of the commercial where he says, "In HONG KONG. That's China."

Don't insult my intelligence.

In short, I ask you once again to fire your marketing team and hire people who actually know how to make your company appear to be a respectable company to buy and sell shares with. It would be in your best interest.

Sincerely,

The Banker

Muse: The Banker
Fandom: Deal or No Deal (USA)/RPF
Word Count (excluding the quote): 319

ooc: Inspired by this entry of the NBC blog.

Some of you seem to be a bit taken back by the fact that I mentioned 'an ex-wife' recently on my NBC blog.

What?! You cannot fathom the notion that I was once married?!

I don't see why not. I am quite handsome and rather wealthy after all. And 'back in the day' as some of you say colloquially, I did show off a bit of my romantic side.

But despite that, I certainly never let my heart completely rule me. Even though I am an excellent judge of character, I had to have a backup plan just in case that lovely blushing bride was quite an actress.

And what was that backup plan, you may ask? Why a prenuptial agreement, of course. I had to protect what I worked so hard to earn after all. That document clearly spelled out in black and white precisely what the young lady was entitled to should we get divorced.

Trust me, it wasn't all that much. And the thought of having to sign such a document did cause some fiancées to end our engagements.

Their loss, I say.

Muse: The Banker
Fandom: Deal or No Deal (USA)/RPF
Word Count: 187

Of course, I'm omitting the part that tells what my name means. I'm certainly not about to reveal that.

Where this meme was found

( Part of my result )

Your Inner Dream number is: 1

An Inner Dream number of 1 means:
You dream of being a leader and one who is in charge. You want to be known for your courage, daring, and original ideas. You seek unconquered heights. People may get a first impression that you are very aggressive and sure of yourself.

In response to that final sentence? Because I am!

(An open letter to the members of the Sigma Chi Fraternity who recently appeared on the show.)

Dear 'geniuses,'

I am writing to you regarding the $128,000 you stole from me on the episode of Deal or No Deal that aired on April 16th. I am nearly positive that you have 'wonderful' plans for your winnings and shall spend every last cent frivolously. I so await the day when you learn three of life's harsh lessons.

And believe me - you WILL learn all three soon enough.

Allow me to state them for you in such a matter that perhaps you may be able to comprehend.

First of all, life is hardly one big party. You soon will learn you will have to work to get anywhere in life. (Unless any of you happen to trust fund babies. In that case, you parents should be scolded for leaving a considerable sum of money in your control.)

Secondly, it is best to put aside money for the future rather than to spend it all on useless items.

You will kick yourself someday for doing this. To think...all of that money could have either have been put towards your education or placed into an IRA (or ROTH IRA) account for your future.

And finally? If you haven't realized it yet, allow me to let you know that your fifteen minutes of fame are up. They ended once your episode aired in all four time zones.

As much as I despise you lazy fools, I do hope you take my words into consideration. Who knows? You may surprise me and actually do something sensible with your lives.

I highly doubt it, however.

- The Banker

Muse: The Banker
Fandom: Deal or No Deal (USA)/RPF
Word Count: 282

"Do not the most moving moments of our lives find us without words?" Marcel Marceau.

In a word - "Duh."

Is that quote supposed to be profound? Honestly I thought it was stating the obvious. Of course there are times in everyone's lives when they are rendered speechless.

When someone is shocked by something, he or she might not be able to speak right away. That person might gasp first. Then, once some of the initial shock wears off, the brain can once again start to form coherent thought.

Another time when someone might not be able to speak right away is when he or she is overcome by sorrow. The person may cry or at the very least, choke back tears. No words comes out right away, just the sounds of a whimper.

And finally, fear tends to leave someone without words. (I have yet to see any spell check programs consider "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" a word of any sort.)

I could go on, but honestly I'm bored of this topic already.

ooc: I know, the muse needs a time out. ;)

Muse: The Banker
Fandom: Deal or No Deal (USA)/RPF
Word Count (not including ooc note and quote): 156

ooc: As far as I know, Nick hasn't appeared on the show yet. But he's a production assistant with his own blog on the NBC site. There are silly skits on his blog where Nick gets in trouble with the models. The ones I'm using for the basis of this prompt are entitled 'Nick Picks a Favorite' (Parts 1 & 2) which can be found here. And a dash of things from recent episodes and entries from The Banker's Blog splashed in.

"There is no justice," Nick whined.

I look up and there is a our resident Production Assistant, his face covered in black marker scribbles. Most notably, he has a twirled mustache drawn below his nose and the word 'LIAR!' across his forehead.

I raised my eyebrow and just had to ask, "What the hell happened to you?"

"Well, I thought I'd be nice to Alike, and help her peel her orange. Then I told her she was my favorite model. And then I saw Anya and she was upset about the shoes and dress she had to wear. So I said I'd talk to the wardrobe people and told Anya she was my favorite model."

I sensed precisely where this was going, but allowed Nick to continue.

"So then I ran into Tameka and she was having a bad day so I offered to cheer her up and said she was my favorite model. And then Anya and Alike heard that and the three of them got mad, pinned me down and did this." Nick then pointed to himself.

As I laughed, I began, "You're an idiot. Truly-"

"Hey!" Nick exclaimed. "I dunno why I even talked to you. Not like you have a caring...bone in your body or whatever. BUT the models don't hate you and you're EVIL!"

I folded my arms. "Evil? Oh come now. Besides, I, unlike you, have learned just how to work with them and-"

"If there were justice, the models would be angry with you or something. I'd love to see any of them-"

"HEY!"

Nick and I turn and see Hayley with her hands on her hips. She looked pissed off about something judging by her cocked head, her pursed lips and slanted eyebrows. She swiftly walked towards us, stopping in front of me before she folded her arms and glared at me. "Okay...I know I was Larren Colum's favorite model-"

"Oh don't say 'favorite model,'" I interrupted as I shot Nick a devious smirk.

Hayley blinked. "I'm-I'm not even going to ask." She glared back at me and continued, "But c'mon. I sat out most of the game. I was in your office and all the audience got to see of me was my silhouette. Look, I know that works for you, but not for me. I got gypped of airtime!"

Nick grinned, obviously enjoying this.

With a loud "Hmmph!" Hayley then stormed off.

( Read more... )

Muse: The Banker
Fandom: Deal or No Deal (USA)/RPF
Word Count (not including ooc notes): 725

NBC game show faces illegal gambling lawsuit

Apparently a Georgia couple is filling a lawsuit against NBC and the various production companies that are affiliated with Deal or No Deal. They claim that our Lucky Case game is an "illegal gambling" operation.

I do not understand their claim, and I rightfully consider myself a man of superior intellect. First of all, the game DOES have winners. It's not as if the organizers of the game were deceitful and never gave away a prize. If that was so, then of course, that would be a legitimate lawsuit.

Secondly, if this couple did not wish to pay a fee to play the Lucky Case game, they merely had to visit NBC's Deal or No Deal website and enter online there. There was no fee to enter that way. The only 'charge' is that you must pay a monthly rate to access the internet. And if you wanted to enter online without even paying THAT, then visit your local library or enter at a friend's house. Those are just two possible alternative solutions. There are many others as well.

I do wish I could say this is the only lawsuit but as the article states, "at least one more in California [was] filed" as well.

For now, the Lucky Case game is on hiatus. And depending on the results of the lawsuits, it may never return.

Muse: The Banker
Fandom: Deal or No Deal (USA)/RPF
Word Count (not including quoted text): 217